Post by bighairygrinch on Sept 9, 2006 3:53:27 GMT -5
Story of one man's dilemma....
I was in my back yard yesterday, trying to fly a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind caught it for a few seconds, then it came crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, my wife is watching me from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opened the window and yelled to me, "You need a piece of tail."
I turned with a confused look on my face and said to her,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
Post by bighairygrinch on Sept 9, 2006 3:55:52 GMT -5
A Mountie pulled a car over on the Trans Canada about 2 miles west of Langley, B.C. When the Mountie asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Chilliwack to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.
The Mountie told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Mountie that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The Mountie told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could. So the Mountie got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk, a good old boy, driving through from Vancouver got out and watched the performance briefly. He then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The Mountie observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well take me to jail, cause there's no way in hell I can pass that test!"
Post by bighairygrinch on Sept 9, 2006 3:59:02 GMT -5
A guy goes in an adult book store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?" Customer says, "Female." Counter guy asks, "Black or white?" Customer says, "White." Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?" Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up"